It is because she is clumsy. No none pushed her down, she just has a really bad relationship with gravity. Honestly when you think about it, gravity is the best and worst lover. You feel stable and secure and then … Continue reading
Coachella Festival of music and this is starting today. I assume you are like me and are not going. And if you are more like me then you are at least curious to see some bands. I have a plan … Continue reading
I go out for a simple plate of pancakes, Click Click bloody pancakes, and the whole Internet is in a tizzy to determine if this dress is blue and black or white and gold: I have, honestly, seen both at … Continue reading
For me the slate of best picture nominees for 2015 is overall fairly week. I think I am in a rebellious phase against the bio-pic and this year 4 of the 8 nominees are bio-pics. Blergh. Regardless I watched them all and will give you my quick reviews/key points about the movies. Probably some spoilers but seriously they are mostly based on truth so Wikipedia is also a spoiler. Also history.
Oh these babies are in order of least liked, to most liked so ooh a ranking!!
The Imitation Game
- It has my detective boo, Benedict Cumberbatch but that didn’t save this mess of a film.
- We get it, you like the bar but that doesn’t tell me about science or gayness. Just whatever.
- Kiera Knightley is super amazing love. You should watch Begin Again to see a better movie with a better Keira Knightley.
Theory of Everything
- Fuck Yeah Science!
- Being a cripple doesn’t exclude you from the major dick card.
- I love the cinnematography a lot. Though now thinking of it, I think i liked the parts where they were playing with all the Instagram filters.
- Eddie Redmanye is brilliant in the movie and more than just for the I can cripple good factor. He acts the crap out of his eyes.
- I don’t fully understand why the whole God/No God debate is so important. I don’t know if that was such a big deal in his story.
- This movie is why I feel like biopics fail: there was so much more that happened that I was curious about but that was forsaken to try to make me cry. I want more SCIENCE. Less wank wank.
- Oh I watched Particle Fever and that documentary is amazing and so much SCIENCE. So I suggest you fire up the old Netflix and watch this instead of Theory of Everything.
- To paraphrase the great Billy Eichner “we don’t need this movie just because Edward Norton is having a moment”. You could also replace that with Michael Keaton.
- To be fair Keaton was amazing in this movie.
- I wonder if Innaratu only gets cranes for his birthday and christmas.
- I do love the tracking shot. I seriously never realized that’s what it was until True Detective. Now I am all over that shit but still you need something more than some fancy camerawork (looking at your grave Kubrick).
- A movie telling people what is wrong with them. Just go to therapy don’t become a bird. Seriously I think therapy is more helpful than being a bird. THough birds seem well adjusted. No they don’t I take that back. Any animal that just will randomly shit on someone isn’t well adjusted at all. Esp if you aren’t getting paid for it.
- I have been told this story isn’t told right but I enjoyed the film.
- Really powerful and effective in its message without being too sugary.
- Made me want to learn more about the Civil Rights movement but in the good way. Not in the I feel like they left crucial stuff out way.
- It was a solid movie but nothing special as a movie. Yes to the content not to the movie as a whole.
- Because of Dallas Buyer’s Club now when I see a bull riding scene, I think someone is going to get AIDS.
- Random thought: I just thought i had a discoloration on my arm that MUST be skin cancer (hypochondriac much?) but nope just soy sauce that splashed on me earlier.
- Islamic Sniper had pretty eyelashes
- Bradley Cooper was really subtle and powerful
- This movie is so unbiased that anyone that sees the movie promoting any type of message is putting it in there themselves.
- A really well done movie Super solid.
- Wish I had something funny but really killing isn’t funny. Unless it is a clown because they are shitheads. Well not you. Don’t be sad clown. Sad clowns are the creepiest of them all. Because you want to hug that mess but then you don’t because: clown. And if anyone tries to bed me by saying “are you down to clown?” will get a frying pan to the face.
- Because Cimbals/Symbols was rejected as a title.
- BING BANG BONG was also rejected.
- Blood on the Skins also rejected.
- A tour de force of acting. blerg. Seriously the best acted movie out of all of the nominees It was amazing.
- The direction was beautiful. These shots were all tight and focused in the best ways.
- It made me appreciate Jazz.
- JK Simmons should be able to do whatever he wants
Grand Budapest Hotel
How to determine if you will like this movie:
- You like Wes Anderson films?
- You like Moonrise Kingdom and parts of his other films (mostly the quirky fun parts and not the parts with total dicktatude?
- You love the colors pink and gray and purple?
- You are a big Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman fan?
- You want to see a movie with Ed Norton not having a moment?
- You just like fun and the concept of a soul?
- You don’t want to make Vivi cry?
If you answered yes to any of those then you will love this movie.
- This movie is really the only one you need to see. LOLOL. Nah it is super good though.
- DId you ever wish you knew what it was like growing up as a kind of lowerish/middle class kid in mostly Texas? YES! Then do i have a movie for you.
- Seriously just see the fucking movie. You know what it is about. SPOILER: No explosions.
- Beautiful movie, love it muchly.
- Sure it is long but you get Ethan Hawke being mega Ethan Hawke. He may have one thing but he does it sooo good.
- I am a sucker for the mush Linklater.
- Do you think a lot of us like this movie because with either the pop culture or life moments we all just go “yup I remember that” and we just love this movie out of a sense of nostalgia? Or is the movie actually good? YOU WATCH, YOU DECIDE
Random things I have been liking in the last month or so. I could enjoy them all this week, so it could be a “this week in Vivi” but that would be a lie. Liars are worse than the devil. He is upfront with all he entices you with and if he doesn’t then you are the idiot. Who the fuck doesn’t know about the devil and that he a) promises things that he can’t promise b) lives in a pit of fire. So if you don’t like fire then don’t make deals. You don’t need a music career that bad, Billy Ocean.
Note: almost every subject is linked so you can learn more. :)
So much music I have discovered but these are the things that are making me the most excited.
- Father John Misty
I hear things and he is coming to San Diego and so I listened. I like muchly. That simple folk/indie style. I really like this song though everything on the album Fear Fun, is really good. Devil would find it boring, so i say that is a plus.
- Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud
This song makes me all mushy happy and I love to sing along. You may need to listen to it about 10 times before it burrows into your brain and I highly suggest that. It is much better than a pit of fire. Perfect if you want to drink more water but need to add a bunch of stuff to make it taste better.
- Adam Levine (from Begin Again) – Lost Stars
Current earworm. Saw this movie (will talk more below) and this song sticks with me the most.
- Concert Season is approaching and I have tickets to the following:
- JMSN -a sultrier, sexier Justin Timberlake
- Joshua Radin – squee good solid indie pop songs. I realize with this, Father John Misty, and the Mountain Goats, I am listening to a lot of those indie dudes. I really wish I could give you words to describe them better. And they are all different too but there is a singular focus to my head.
- Trampled by Turtles – mild bluegrass anyone? Devil loves it. He goes to Georgia for it, I hear.
- Belle and Sebastian– mega squee. All of the adorkable girls represent!!! And if you think you are adorkable and you don’t like B&S then you are adorabroken.
- Marina and the Diamonds– Looking for opportunities to dance my ass off. Not literally. That is some devil shit. No idea why I have it out for the devil today but really isn’t anyone worse to go after. Maybe someone who is real and actually killed people but that is just too real. #realpeopleproblems
- The Decemberists– I seriously doubted them coming to San Diego and that I would be going. Squee. Also the video linked is amazing and has Nick Offerman.
- Painted Nails- Been painting my nails like a BAWSE on the regular. Heeeeeeeeey. All the nail people represent. (no fucking clue either)
- MAC Miley Cyrus Viva Glam – Another no fucking clue. I needed it. I needed it bad. You know what I mean. The hot pinkness of it all. Not a Miley fan per se. No devils here.
- Shiro Cosmetics Eyeshadows- Legends Collection (colors: Heart Piece, Hero of Ages, Triforce)
Seven Kingdoms Collection (color: Climbing Chaos)
These are pigmented as fucked (this is good for eyeshadow) and last a long time. I looked fierce wearing the Heart Piece. And great names and art work.
- MAC- Eye Shadow Palette
In order to “save money” I got the palette to start filling with eye shadows. I now have 5 and if i remember the colors are Da Bling, Aquadisac, Shroom, Sushi Flower, Amber Lights. Love them all and the palette. It is so preeeeeetttty.
- Eldritch Horror
Mega game that is heavily themed around HP Lovecraft. There are mini stories, monsters, all types of horror. It is beautiful and perfect. One of my goals for 2015 was to do full plays of games we barely touched. This is number one and it was so much fun. 3 hours worth of fun.
- Settlers of Catan
I only got to play my copy once before but was able to play it a bunch of times around Christmas. I love this game so much. The thing I love most about this game that isn’t as strong in other games is that every turn requires everyone to pay attention and be involved. If you don’t then you will lose valuable resources (literally). The devil hates this game because he is such a scatterbrained ninypoopz.
- Mario Kart
I have been playing this crazy ass game because I need to be better. I need to beat Andrea boo when he comes in March. Or at least not fall off cliffs. Also Waluigi is the new Toad in my life. annoying as fuck (totes devil)
- Pokemon X
Instead of reading great Russian Literature last night, I spent all of my evening catching up on my Squirtle, Lucario and the like. Squirtle now has cannons because, cannons?
- 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown / Big Fat Quiz
They are so silly and sometimes fucking hilarious. I can’t stop watching both of these. Thanks to the power of YouTube I can find them everywhere.
This show is beautiful, tense, quirky, fun, amazing. So because I used a lot of descriptive words you need to see the show if you haven’t.
- Begin Again
From the dude who did Once. If you like Once, then you will like this movie. Also Mark Ruffalo. Just watch it.
- Tinker Tailor Solider Spy
Three years behind on this movie. it is amazing. Just beautiful spy awesome. Yum trifecta too: Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, and Colin Firth.
Random (probably white girl things)
I feel like a preface is necessary because of reasons for my head. It has been a long hiatus and I hope to keep this blog more steady and be more accountable to produce good and frequent content. The beginning of the year will probably be filled with these haul/unboxing posts and movie posts. Probably some music. So you know the usual. It is nice to have something come back and things not change too much. I mean this more for me than you.
New box of the month for me: PopSugar. I ditched Ipsy for a Lifestyle box, Popsugar. It is more expensive ($40/month as opposed to $10/month) but so much variety.
I think this month’s theme is something like Renew Re-Energize Whatever. Oh my picture quality will probably be horrible. I think this will make these posts less entertaining but i think it adds a level of beautiful janky.
Most likely to be used all up: First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream
This is my daily face cream. First saying that makes me feel like I am from the 1950s and I really should stop entertaining these ideas of “writing” and get back to making that roast before the provider comes home. I really love this cream and it is reasonably priced (smaller version is $12 and lasts about 2-3 months). The jar is pretty fuckable too. If that is your thing guys with dicks. So moisturizing: 9, fuckability a solid 7.
Most likely to never be worn but I can’t throw it away: Jack +Lucy Pom Pom hat
It is so fucking huge. I have to wear it like a slouchie hat but I do love it. I live in Southern California so instances where I need to wear it are few but I will love it forever until I realize that I don’t need it and give it away. So lets give this hat 4 months. This could be the key to starting my new indie band “Gravity and the gumdrops of creation”. My craigslist add would be: Seeing bandmates for new indie band. You play guitar, drums, keyboard, and/or bass. Also need a singer. I girl who has a really cool hat and band name. Lets soar!” Fuckability 2: It is wool but soft so if you lubed it up it could work.
Most likely to be Given Away 2 seconds after opening the box: Nature Valley Protein Granola
I don’t like peanut butter. This is not my bag of granola. Also I don’t know what to do with granola. I don’t like yogurt that much and I don’t want to eat it by itself. I could have kept it to throw at clowns. Lick it a bit and hope it sticks on the face paint and in their hair. I should have made that my new year’s resolution: torture more clowns. At least 50% more than last year. Fuckability: 0 unless you like it rough you sick fuck.
Most likely to be used for not its intended purpose: Manduka eQua Hand Towel
I think this is for when you yoga sweat and need to wipe it off so you don’t slide on the mat and slip and slide your way to the girl in front of you doing downward facing dog. Also giving it a fancy title is really not hiding your doggie style pose. I will probably use the towel for cleaning my face. I might use it when I eventually go to the gym (hahahaha). It is soft as fuck. So I give it a fuckability of 5.
Most likely to be useful after a night of drinking: ToGoSpa Eyes
I have been focused on creams and ointments to fix my face. Not that it needed fixing, I am just that vain. I do have a category of things for my eyes and will eventually get them for my face as a whole, for fixes when I don’t sleep a lot and/or are hungover. The hungover doesn’t happen a lot but it is still something I need to plan for. Either I am the baller of the ballers or just a sad monkey in a police uniform. You decide.
Fuckability: 0. Seriously if you can wrap it around your penis, get a new penis and also NO.
Most likely to be worn once and then realize nope: Skin Jewel Tattoos Empire
Ahh these are the cross promotion with the new show Empire. I don’t fully understand. I get that they are cold but they are that fake tribal kind of design that white girls wear to Coachella. Well this white girl will try them for dates or other fun nights out. I have a feeling I will find them too complicated to get around my wrist that I will give up and never use them again. I could be corrected by the magic of gold. Gold is better.
Fuckability: O but it could enhance fuckability. I wouldn’t put it on your junk but maybe above it as away of saying- I love Perfume Genius too babe now come sit right here.
Most likely to be used for work: KeepCup Brew 12-Ounce Reusable Coffee Cup
I need to say something: I know this is to combat the Starbucks,etc paper cups but before Starbucks and the like all coffee cups were reusable. I have a whole shelf of “reusable” coffee cups. This is the stupidest term ever for this. Like for serious. I love the cup, btw. It is a bit small but really good for tea when I am at work. I give it aces plus.
Fuckabliity 10: if you are a sex Macguyver and can add some sponges, lube, saran wrap and rubber bands. It would be such the perfect size for your own fleshlight. Pro there is a rubber grip handle.
Dearest reader, Last night I watched the American Music Awards and I found the most amazing specimens of humanity. Actually I just lied to you I saw meh performances and wasted three hours of my time. However I made the … Continue reading