Cap’n America: The First Crunch

I really really enjoyed this movie. It was super fun and kick ass  with the fighting. As I am making my way through all the Avengers solo projects, I would have to say this is currently my favorite (unless the upcoming Thor has a Loki, Thor, Vivi-way. I would call that one Thor: Mischief Managed).  Still have Iron Man 2 and Hulk to check off my list. Though I think it is okay if I skip Hulk since it is a different Hulk. Right?  I give this movie 50 stars (America!!!)   I am still me so I made some notes to share with the interwebs, that I wrote in my Marvel Heroes Notebook. I realize this is a bit heavy on the pop-culture references so consider it an awesome puzzle:

Marvel Notebook!!

Spoilers right ahead!

  • Why are you making me choose between Mitzi or Caeser Flickerman?
  • I really wanna be Captain America but the other dude has Kraken. Half dead Kraken but still Kraken.
  • Two-Face vs Captain America! This battle choosing America. Two-Face needs to fall into a fucking vat.
  • Used to think Crunch was the best Cap’n now America America America
  • Lay All Your Love On Me , Howard Stark
  • Tesseract guns work so well because A) Dobby built them B)no Loki to fuck things up.
  • Just realized it is named tesseract? And we think this is badass and we make fun of Cameron for unobtainium?
  • Who the fuck gave Dobby the sock to make him evilish?
  • Holy fake face Batman Captain America!  Also super bad dye job Mitzi.  Put the face back on.
  • What is with villains and having no noses? Is your good held in your nose? Is this why Kelly Taylor was a minor bitch?
  • The Stan Lee cameo (purpose for a bad joke) always sneaks up on me like a Jury Summons.
  • “Mind the Gap”?????? Didn’t come about until 1969. I hate that small things like that bother me so much. (I can accept Asgard cube energy though. Totes believable. Oh and super-people and people who have red skull faces.)
  • Probs not new to this idea but if Red Skull blows you, you are a skullfucker. Keep that in mind. Also if that is on your bucket list, time is a ticking.
  • Oh no!!! His friend died. So so hoping he comes back as an evil person. Like SNOW SQUID LLC.  (update: sad he survived as a normal person)
  • Everyone speaks English (Dobby, Mitzi). Super helpful for interrogations and explaining why you lost your face. Note to self- if you become a villain don’t learn new languages. Speaking is always your downfall.
  • I plan on starting a semi-vegetarian diet and now all I want is Dobby’s uneaten steak. (also name of my new gypsy punk band)
  • This is the Titanic of Superhero movies. Watch out Captain they might throw you into the Ocean.

This movie did stir a bit of the America in me which I think is good . I promise not to invade you. Unless you want me to.

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