I watched the American Music Awards 2012 to save you

I really like how these music award shows have moved towards what we all wanted- more performances and less awards. Honestly I don’t care who wins these, I just wanna see what Pink is gonna do this year (Move over Circus she is now doing SYTYCD performances).  I did make some quips and comments for you all:

  • I am weak to Usher’s music- catchy beyond all tings. So add lasers to his performance and I am there in pile of dancing goo.
  • It looked like he created the Iron Throne with lasers and light. So this lead to:
  • My new Game of Thrones dance club: Direwolf. Waitresses dressed like Khalessi. Dragons with fire. Dances based on houses (kraken dance anyone?).  A perfect place for the cool and nerds to converge.  Maybe it will be a pop-up club only around comic-cons.  (TM lushrain inc)
  • Awesome lyric: Gonna get you wet, raincoat.
  • Found out Usher licks lollipops from the bottom to the top. Not sure why you would go that way but who am I to judge?
  • Awww Beiber is wearing red shoes just like his Papa Usher
  • Commercial: wife sends her husband on a trip with a sex video. They distribute this video via touching their phones. Because making sex videos even easier to distribute isn’t going to break bad ever. Ever. (see historical document: Gossip Girl- Monsterous Ball)
  • Carly Rae Jepsen seems to be phoning this performance in. (geddit? I am so so so hilar)
  • What the fuck is up with these boy bands no longer dancing? Your singing is average and you don’t play instruments and you don’t write your music. Remembering a nifty little dance sequence should be required. Otherwise you are just pretty mannequins.
  • Ke$ha had 80% more lasers than Usher.
  • 3 out of 4 members of No Doubt love high collars (the more you know)
  • Might try to steal Gwen Stefani’s glitter herringbone jacket (probably not a good idea to announce potential crimes online. Ignore all of this)
  • Linkin Park won for a song I thought had come out 10 years ago. The all sound the fucking same.
  • Daniel described the Linkin Park song as them plus Muse and MGMT. I just teared a bit about good things being mixed with bad things.
  • I want Nicki Minaj’s boots so bad. Even if  a Yeti died for them.
  • Acoustic Biebs means Vivi likes this performance 100 times more.
  • Nicki Minaj made a guest appearance to just announce her name, Bieber’s name, and the name of the song. WTF?
  • Was Jay Z’s 99 Problems an answer song to DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble?
  • I don’t know what to think about Christina Aguliera’s performance. It was about being positive and love which I promote. However gay dancers and Jebidiah Motorcross having bags on their head with insults was strange.
  • I was mesmerized by her boobs though. Ultimate positive.
  • I thought Carrie Underwood was eaten by Taylor Swift but here she is performing and winning an award.
  • Who doesn’t love the Whitney Houston tribute followed immediately by the Chris Brown performance. Didn’t anyone think this through?
  • I am a fan of the PSY / MC Hammer collaboration performance. It was like the passing of the wide-legged dance baton from one generation to the next.Overall I found the whole thing enjoyable. I like crack pop and so I liked most of the performances. If that isn’t your thing then this was an exercise in patience for you. So then you are happy I recapped it for you. And for that you are welcome.
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