Confessions of a Book Whore

There is a lovely website called Goodreads.  I get to keep track of all the books I am, have, and will be reading. There is also the ability to discuss books at length.  All awesome things.

My problem with Goodreads is the “Currently Reading” list. It has made me realize that I am a book whore or have horrible ADD. I will choose to be a whore who swears she remembers all of her books plots. Most of them.

I often find myself not adding a book to this list to not show how scatterbrained I am. Also my inability to commit to reading a book. I feel shame when look at everyone else’s “Currently Reading” list and they are all reasonable (1-3 books) length.

This list is why I am hesitant to start a new book. I should be happy with the ones I have open. I shouldn’t look for something new. But there is that calming rush of excitement when starting a new book. Seeing that first sentence and hoping that it sweeps you off your feet and you fall madly in love.

So let me tell you about the books I am currently whoring with:

  • The Girl Who Played With Fire  by Stieg Larsson

I inhaled  the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo quickly (pun intended).   However this book  is so much slower to me so I read for a bit and then give it up. I have been at this book off an on for I think two years.

Type of Relationship: Had a good moment or two and keep on thinking I can come back to those good moments but really am left with this sterile heart on a metal plate.

  • The Magicians by  Lev Grossman

Marketed as a grown up Harry Potter which it evokes. Ish. Again it lulls for me and people just seem like assholes that I don’t want to know about.  Where Harry Potter makes me want to be a wizard/witch, this book makes me want to burn them. Maybe I shouldn’t finish this book. Or maybe I should be glad that we never got to experience Harry Potter the sexual experimentation years?

Type of Relationship: Bad from the start but you think you see some type of spark in there. As much as you are searching for this spark there is  hatred is bubbling under the surface.

  • Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life: A Book by and for the Fanatics Among Us by Steve Almond

I really like this book. But I also have a hard time with non-fiction. It bores me after a bit so I need to move on. This book is really good if you like those reflective life stories mixed with musical anecdotes  You know the Rob Sheffields or Chuck Klostermans. It fits neatly into that pile but with a bit of a different perspective.

Type of Relationship: Charming and chuckles here and there. And so much music love. You love to have someone to talk music.  But they talk about themselves too much and while you find the stories cute at first eventually you just want to take a break. You know you will always come back at some point. Maybe they can write a story about that paired with some Neon Indian album.

  • Scott Pilgrim by Bryan Lee O’Malley

Started reading it after I saw the movie (shush hipsters, shush). I think I am on volume 3. They are a quick read yet I have never picked it up. Maybe it is because I know the story already (hush, hush) that I don’t feel compelled to pick it up again.

Type of Relationship: Predictable  Still cute and quirky but you feel like you have tread these steps before and while it was an enjoyable experience you want something new.

  • Stories: All-New Tales  Ed Neil Gaiman

Gaiman’s intro about the phrase “and then what happened” sucked me into this collection of short stories. I think I have read a total of 1, maybe 2, of them. I keep on meaning to pick it back up but honestly I lost the book (literally) for a while. Then I found it and always know those stories can wait.

Type of Relationship: A series of blind dates. You feel like you are prepared but find unexpected things with each date. Which is fun at first but is tiring and you need some longer fling in-between.

  • This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz

Started reading this one in a bookstore (those still exist!). Andreaboo saw how much I was enjoying it and bought it for me.  It is a beautiful book. It isn’t pretentious or high-brow. Well written and accessible. I think I forgot about it because it was a real book and not a Kindle book.

Type of Relationship: Beautiful, poetic and real. Sometimes you feel too immature for this and you just want that fast food romance and nothing so complex. Though you know it isn’t as complex as you are making it but there are only so many times you can read the New York Times before you crave USA today.

  • Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

Almost ordered to read the book (I may have been but my memory is so faulty). It is a great concept and well done. I just found myself racing through parts to get to the next section. Not because I wanted to know what happened but because I wanted to get out of the section I was in. I realized I was doing this with every section.

Type of Relationship: Arranged marriage. Everything seems okay in the beginning. You are learning each other. Knowing the way you work and flow. Then you realize that all those quirks that you just learned are fucking ass annoying and you are done doing anything for this quirky motherfucker.

  • Little Bee by Chris Cleave

Found this baby at a thrift store. Hoda recommended it and I don’t usually take the advice of winos (who am I kidding? Cardboard Joe is my stock advisor), but I am a sucker for a twist. Oh plus the book was like $1 to buy. I am not paying good money for a twist.  This is my momentary read. So far so good.

Type of Relationship: I thought it wasn’t going to work out. They were too popular, too loved. I couldn’t find place in that. But starting out slow and so far things are working out well. Fingers crossed.

  • Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

I don’t know how long I will keep saying I am new to the fantasy/sci-fi genre. I probably have been reading these books off and on for all of my life.  I have been trying to read iconic books in this area. I have read some of Orson Scott Card’s women of the bible books and enjoyed them and was prepared to fall into an awesome sci-fi world filled with an army of children. For some reason that didn’t happen. I will try again.

Type of Relationship: Too expectant. I thought we were a match made in heaven but you aren’t at all what I imagined you to be. You are more flawed than I expected. This may not work out but I am willing to seek help to mend our broken relationship.

  • The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

This one was forced on me. I wanted to read it though.I love Doctor Who. Douglas Adams wrote for Doctor Who! I like quirky novels. He is quirky!!  I got 3 chapters in and it is tooo much for me. Maybe I don’t like quirky. I feel the same as when I try to get through a Terry Prachett novel. I am sorry quirky lovers, it doesn’t work for me.

Type of Relationship: You see the guy with the piano necktie and you first assess that he isn’t Mugatu. Then you know that you can appreciate a man with a bit of quirk to him. Then you realize that is all he is. Strange with no seeming substance. And you don’t understand the towels which he tells you there is no meaning. And you don’t get it. And then you have a fight and you end up leaving him and giving away his necktie to charity.

  • Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

I have been wanting to read this one for a while. Since there is an audio play version of it coming out soon (Anthony Head! Chick from Game of Thrones! Donna’s Grandpa! Sherlock!!!) I wanted to finish it before then. I am not that far in but I am in love. So madly in love. Gaiman’s wording is real and still has this fantastical beauty that envelops me so.

Type of Relationship: Mega crush boarding on love. I already pledged love to their brother but I could love two things right?

This isn’t counting the other comic books I am in the middle of (a Sandman vol, Preacher issue, an issue of X-Men) and a book I am reading on the art of Florence (for my upcoming Italian adventure). But the shame is too much to add them to the list. I can’t name all of my book tricks in one list.

The ultimate point of this long post and goal is to clear all of these books off the list by the end of April. Two months should be enough. I hope to finish the books with reading as opposed to burning. Or at least admit that the book and I are not a true match and that we need to part ways. Maybe it was a good idea at the time but the book didn’t to it for me and now there is a bitter taste.  Either way I need to commit or kick them to the curb.

P.S. Oh did you see I added a new category!! Since I review tings, I will be adding books to this mess of reviewage.

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