Clearing the Queue: Bronson

Intense. For me that is my primary feeling about this movie. It was so intense visually and emotionally that it took me an hour or so before I could even write anything about this movie. I didn’t want to revisit it anytime soon. Not because it was a bad movie but prison movies and violent movies based so much in the real are hard for me to watch.  So if they aren’t as hard for you then this movie may not be as intense. The movie is visually stunning and clever in how the story is framed.  I think any other actor or director telling this tale would have told an okay but boring story. This was art because both committed so fully to this project.  Tom Hardy is what he should have been in Dark Knight Rises.

So as always I have my notes from watching:

  • Lets get Tom Hardy dirty and beat him up. That sounds like some S&M fantasy.
  • I think it is wrong that every time I see a violent British dude, I always think it is because of a football match gone wrong.
  • Y U MAD BRO? (subtitle to the movie)
  • I either should or shouldn’t be in law  because I would have just amputated his arms then removed his teeth. Remove his legs until he is a torso. There is a way to stop this
  • Of course he fathered children. Of course he did
  • Seriously we all know he isn’t crying that he is laughing.  He is a sociopath.
  • I love you Tom Hardy.  You are a great actor so you being all evil-y is making me all icky. So that means I will have to watch This Means War. Again. You drove me to this, boo.
  • British prisons are so dirty and run down. I think the new thing is just to let them catch dysentery. You know like the Oregon Trail.  You get dysentery from dirty things right?
  • I was so hoping that that cup of tea was going to be thrown in someones face. Or is that like the ultimate no no? You can bite my face, smear all kinds of shit on me (literary) but don’t fuck with my tea.  2 sugars and some cream please.
  • Just realized this is a kind of vaudevillean prison story.
  • They put him in a psych hospital but they don’t Coukoo’s Nest him?
  • The first rule should really be : don’t punch people.
  • TIL mental hospital dance music of choice: Pet Shop Boys
  • Sure lets just set the violent dude (that was in solitary for 26 years) free. That will go well. Almost as well as raising the dead or having your alcoholic sister raise your baby.
  • How is he allowed a phone in his cell?
  • Movie too intense for me to fully appreciate Tom Hardy peen.
  • I wanna color with Tom Hardy! And knit with Ryan Gosling! (new segment Vivi Crafts with the Hotties). Just wait till I paint with Blake Lively
  • Naked and dirty. Just the way I like ’em. Maybe with less crowbar. That can’t be a crowbar. Well less of the hurty sticky thing in your hand.
  • Bronson is to taking hostages as RedHood is to exploding bombs.
  • Classical music like that isn’t going to soothe the soul you know that right? Maybe play a song like Windy. No one commits violence to this song. It is almost impossible.

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