Vivi Tells You What to Listen to, pt 41

I’ve gone country. Well for part of this list. You can blame my bff Bex for it. I also read some of my writing tonite and I enjoyed my poems more than my stories. And my journal entries were just painful. Except for the part where I knew I wouldn’t be a virgin for too long. Sigh I always knew I was a whore. I will grace you with some of these writings in the future.  When I have lost all shame and have no other topics in mind. Oh the list. It is a mix of old and new and country. So there you go:

I propose the gimmick for this week will be me telling you what the songs are about even though I haven’t really paid attention to the lyrics to these songs. Funsies!!

1. Miranda Lambert- Mama’s Broken Heart

So your mama had this robot. And she used this robot to “help” her out after daddy died.  And one day you were playing around and spilt a slurpee on Robot Daddy.  And Robot Daddy also died. This hurt your mama more than when real daddy died.  All sung to an awesome fun beat. It is country but seriously good. For the people who likes that rock stuff. And the video is quirky fun. Lots of drinking!!

2. Blake Shelton- Honey Bee

There was this honey bee that had dirty knees. You didn’t know that bees had knees right? They don’t . This is a whore. She sucked so so sweet like a bee getting nectar from a flower. And then having that flower spray pollen all over her face. It is a love song. A catchy as fuck love song.

3 The Band Perry- Better Dig Two

You would think this is about graves and shit but it isn’t. It is about digging wells for water. You need a regular one and a back up well in case the first one got contaminated with children. This was written about the 1980s were children falling down wells was an epidemic. Good thing we learned to breed children that knew what a hole was. All to a kick ass beat. Pumping and good. Seriously if you listen to Mumford and Sons why aren’t you listening to a more ballsy version of them?

4.  Little Big Town – Tornado

This song is a tribute to the movie Twister and more specifically the works of Mr. Bill Paxton. He did that one thing and then the other thing over there. IT was a whirlwind (geddit) of adventure and drama. And face staring. He chased the storm of his career. Going any where he could go and leaving houses destroyed in his path. And a couple of cows. (just a couple cows chill PeTA).  Again more good beats. I think the whole Chillbilly movement made you all more open to country and folk whether you realize it or not. Realize it now.

5. Paul Sanchez – Nine Lives

It is a re-imagining of the Rodrigo Garcia movie with cats. Pussy on Pussy action!  Seriously I discovered this song and where it originated from Spotify. It is from this unique musical called Nine Lives about life in New Orleans. The songs are so interesting and really good. This song is really good. You should all check it out. It breaks out of the musical mode for some. For example this video. Watch.

6. Jamie Cullum- Everything You Didn’t Do

This is Jamie assuming the role of Meatloaf who is now frustrated. He did everything for love (except that, but seriously who would do that?) and realized that you didn’t also do everything for love. There was so much you didn’t do. He willingly let you walk on you in your heels. But one little golden shower and noooo. And you also refused to do the dishes. So love stops at Palmolive? It is poppy fun. Not jazzy even though you will want to place it in that because of other albums. It is not. Stop it. Don’t be a Meatloaf lady. No one wants a Meatloaf Lady (soft to fuck but too much ketchup)

7. Watsky (ft. Kate Nash)- Hey , Asshole

An ode to the forgotten body part, the asshole. It is often unseen and abused and neglected.  Bleached or sore it still deserves a little love.  Treat it well.  It is a comedy rap song with a great beautiful chorus. He has good rhythm. I can see me singing it out loud which probably isn’t good but whatever. I am a rebel.

8. Anthony Green (ft. Nate Russ) – Only Love

Only love can unite the tumultuous relationship between an elephant and a mouse. At first the elephant was scared of the tiny mouse. Afraid to hurt it with its big ass feet but then the mouse gently climbed on to the elephant and whisper sweet mousy tings into her ear. The elephant was in love. Love united this forbidden relationship and now she will never forget her little mouse that she “accidentally” shoved into her with that wayward trunk.  Good rhythmic beat. And Nate Ruess (from Fun.) Good for lovemaking.

9. She & Him- Never Wanted Your Love

About that time where Spiro Agnew tried to hit on Nixon. It was late in the Oval Office and the recording was shut-off. They were drinking glasses of good scotch, ties loosened. Talking about their college days. Nixon recalled the fondness of playing that touch football game with the guys when it got a bit more touchy than he wanted but then realized that he was the one that score the touchdown. Then Agnew saw his chance and slid across the carpet over to Nixon and tried to “tricky his dicky” (sorry I had to) and then Nixon hit him across the face with scotch glass. Not spilling a drop.  Agnew cried and left.

Typical She & Him which for me is amazing. If you don’t like them, don’t expect anything different. Just enjoy the adorkable old-school popness.

10. Orianthi- Heaven in this Hell 

It is about that time when you are on Fear Factor and have to eat the goat testicles followed by the goat eyes  and then swim with water snakes. You really liked it even though everyone else cried like bitches. Sniveling little bitches.

Oh the song is amazing rockalicious. Seriously rockalicious. Like you need to listen now. This list is over. Go GO


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