Clearing the Queue: Red State

I don’t remember the last horror movie I have seen. I guess it would be Planet Terror. Or does Zombieland count?  Anyways, I  really don’t feel like I am fully qualified to analyze this as a horror movie so I will talk about it as a splatter-action movie.

Now about Kevin Smith movies. I like the Jersey Trilogy (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy) and Clerks II. And really not much else, sorry. I really did try.   Red State isn’t your mom’s Kevin Smith movie? Really are any? Maybe Jersey Girl but I couldn’t finish that one. (again sorry).

Overall the movie was fun and super violent. So if you want a quick-paced film that is ruthless and has some interesting quirks, then this movie is for you. The acting is super great which isn’t always the case for horror/action movies.

The negatives I had was that the movie had too many twists for the pace of the film. Some of the shots and cutaways were just strange. The plot was actually meandering because of how quick it was trying to be. Which maybe are elements of horror, but for me I just found it jarring. It was also super heavy-handed morally.  Imagine your teenage self wanting  to write a movie showing why a group of people was wrong. This is what you would do.

I did take the notes:

  • Dear god it is  a moral horror movie. sigh.
  • Secret gay sheriffs. fancy.
  • Because you are in a hick state you have to have mullet guy?
  • Isn’t knitting in church rude?
  • Also I could swear she was knitting with one needle and her finger. I know Jesus likes to carry and drive people but I think he draws the line at  helping with  crafts. Except macrame. Jesus is fucking serious about his knots.
  • Crazy church, you are a bit over optimistic with the rows and rows of pews. Scale it back.
  • What TV channels are you watching where when you turn it on there are automatic privates in your face?
  • Maybe you shouldn’t leave it on the porn channel all the time. PROBLEM SOLVERS
  • So you are on Grindr and pick-up young boys to torture. Kill two birds with one stone? Well in this case, three birds. Is that what the Bob Marley song is about?
  • How many ball gags do you own? Do you buy them in bulk? Does the Oriental Trading company sell those for party favors. I really want to know. Easter is coming up quickly.
  • Saran wrap shootings is so clever. Hey Dexter, you ever thought about that? Also saran wrap shootings is the name of my indie band’s album. We are called Freeloading Frogs.
  • I think there should be a saran wrap watch-list. That is an inordinate amount of that stuff.
  • Also does Jesus help with the use of that stuff? Because whenever I just try to wrap a bowl or burrito it is all clumped and weird. It doesn’t stick. I am left with a fucked up pile of saran wrap on the carpet. And there you are perfectly wrapping a person in saran wrap. I has a jealous.
  • I think every mantle should have blow job pics. It is festive.
  • Are they trying to say something about John Goodman (who was awesome btw)? Giving him such a small bull horn and then later a small gun.
  • Everyone  just stay away from windows while people are shooting into the house. Just in case.
  • Your mom was evil. Its okay. No Woman, No Cry see? More Bob Marley

I dunno watch it if you want. Don’t watch it if that is your thing. Jesus won’t judge because he may or may not be watching. He has people to drive. He is the most requested chauffeur ever.

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