Clearing the Queue: The Untouchables

We all have those iconic movies that we haven’t seen. For someone who actively likes movies, I feel like there are huge gaps in my movie viewing. I haven’t seen Citizen Kane for example. Until tonight I hadn’t seen The Untouchables.

I remember my dad watching it or talking about it. I guess i don’t remember that well. I know he did like this movie a lot. He is also the one that introduced me to the Godfather series (we watched them all in one day with Italian food to keep us company) and to Goodfellas.  I have no idea how I missed watching this movie. This is a movie that I was almost preordained to like. Right?

With a set up like that you were expecting me to hate this movie. I didn’t. I loved it. It was supremely good. The only issue I had about it was the music was very disconcerting during  some scenes.  Also it was very 80s. Bridge saxophone solos make me thing of this


  •  Sigh. Making me read from the start. So much woooooork.
  • I want a hot cloth on my face.I wanna be pampered. Well I think I do but then I feel guilty when people too much to take care of me. But I do like it. Just conflicted. Overshare?
  • This is like super DeNiro. This is what all other DeNiros hope to be.
  • Hey mister, you just blew up a child. Hey mister, you are a dick.
  • Kevin Costner is super pretty in this. I never found him attractive but I see the appeal with this movie.
  • There is bootlegging operation that has been transported from Canada. The boxes have a maple leaf on it. Are you kidding me?
  • They are. Thank fuck for being smart.
  • Hey Nessie, maybe just acknowledge you are prettier than you are smart and move along. The big boys have work to do.
  • I can’t believe I didn’t recognize Sean Connery. Oh you know why because he affected some retarded accent at first. Then just said fuck it, I am SC and you can suck of bagpipe of dicks.
  • I love the 20s and 30s. In that hypothetical I think this is the time I would go back to. Feathers and pearls and hats! And smoky room sexy. Guys in vests and ties.MMMMMM.
  • The Chicago Way seems messy but beneficial for morticians.
  • Sure the police station has ears but the church doesn’t. Sure. I forget that God can’t hear you.
  • Like Al Capone, I too am full of enthusiasms.
  • So henchmen and fellow crime bosses here is some advice from me to you: If you are at a dinner, round table, some gathering where you all feel the need to sit in a circle. Now I really want a game of crime boss duck duck goose.  Okay you are in a circle drinking some wine or just siting politely. And lets say the main dude (I know you want to think you are the main dude but you aren’t) has a bat in his hand. He is talking about love, family, honor, pride, whatever. He will use the bat to bash someone’s head in. Lets just hope you are not Goose (poor Goose-RIP). Be the Maverick.  You’re welcome, pay me in small bills.
  • Did you know Barbas (from Charmed!!) is the assassin. And he killed a child. Well he was a fear demon in Charmed and seriously fucked up
  • “Many things are half the battle”-  Nessie’s version of “Fuck You GI Joe”.
  • Who knew mounties were so gung-ho?
  • OMG there was the classic guy falling off of something sound. I love you sound person.
  • He killed the Italian. Maybe he no speakie the English, Nessie.
  • “This man could finger Al Capone.” I knew he was a pussy. BAM You have been POWND.
  • I under stand you Al, I wanna piss on peoples hedges too.
  • Our key witness and friend may be in danger, this is no time to stop smoking these delicious cigars.
  • Maybe if you quit the smokey you would have been able to run faster to not give the murderer chance to not only run away but write a warning in blood.
  • Sean Connery is talking to an actual Irish cop and this scene is fucking surreal with the accents.
  • COP FIGHT!!!!
  • My new move will be the kidney punch. you can call me DialysisMaker.
  • You brought a knife to a gun fight. And he brought a gun. Duck.
  • I have a feeling that Sean Connery won’t survive this. Barbas you fucker.
  • See you help the woman with the baby and you get a good angle to dust some gangsters.
  • I feel sorriest for dude who played Sailor in Train Station: Okay so you are going to be sitting and then for some reason you will walk up the stairs.  Then you will be shot once which is pretty fatal. Then as you are falling making your last moves of life someone will shoot you again. Just because. Anchors Aweigh!
  • I think Barbas wears the white suit because it is a personal indicator on how good his assassinating went that day. No dry cleaning needed: aces plus day.  Dry cleaning: no good very bad day.
  • Lesson from this rooftop scene: Don’t look down and Nessie is a horrible shot.
  • He was going to kill your wife and CHILD. Then let Capone pee on your hedges and you let him live????
  • RIP Barbas. You were evil but truthfully you do have an evil face. What else can you do with that face? You can’t be a candy man you will scare children. Though you are a bit less creepy than the dude in the beginning of Willy Wonk and the Chocolate Factory. By like a fraction.
  • Oh you did kill him but like a pussy. Someone should finger you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s