I went on my first trip to Italy. My first to Europe. To another country other than Canada. I had adventures y’all. I took lots of notes to talk about the small little Vivi-details of my trip. I will then accent some of these notes with pictures. I am a whole package. As expected, it was awesome fantastical. People keep on asking me how it was and it was amazing. Am I supposed to say something else? I don’t know how to answer that. Social awkwardness in motion people.
I was in Italy for about 2 weeks. I went to Milano, Firenze (Florence), Roma, Torino, and back to Milano. It did go awfully fast. So I will take you city by city. Travel with me!
Milano – Days 1 and 2
-Met Andreaboo who would be my guide through this land. I couldn’t find him first at the airport because unlike when I see him at the San Diego airport, Milano is full of Andrea look-a-likes.
-Old man with bristly thick mustache stamped my passport and barely looked at me. Just like the insane amount of “ehs?” I got entering Canada, having this man be my first non-plane Italian was perfect.
– First place I experienced was a small cafe/bar. With a dude who looked like Italian Brolo made us Italian quesadillas : tomato, mozzarella basil. Mmmmmmmm. You can call it by your fancy name, Piadina but I know what a tortilla looks like.
– Had my first tiny coffee. Strong Good . Not enough. Seriously people it is tiiiiiiiny. You think the espresso you get here is the “same”. Imagine that much but half or less than half.
-Walked in the rain to get pastries. Got raspberry tarts. And these Crispy things filled with cream. Which can also be said for O.C. Cougars. Boom!!
-Feel lost not knowing Italian. It is a strange thing to tune out all surrounding conversations and not know things when people are speaking to you.
-Had tiny dick risotto for my first dinner. So good. So tiny of dick. First I am sorry that I didn’t take a picture. Second it was this yummy special risotto that had this sausage in it. While I assume there were other pieces of the sausage in there it had this one tiny piece in the center. Mega delicious.
-Already spoiled how ordering sparkling mineral water is just like ordering regular water. It is a beautiful thing. And wine!
-Had my second tiny coffee but added sugar this time. Couldn’t go full packet though. That is too hardcore.
-Got Tiramisu. It was good except for the chocolate jizz parade that showed up to the plate. Again apologies for no picture.
-I walked back to the hotel in the rain wearing a fabulous dress. Perfection for my first day
-Duomo is huge and not as bird- crappy as foretold.
-The military dudes didn’t need camouflage uniforms You aren’t hiding. I can see you.
-$2 euro to take pictures inside the Duomo. People selling umbrellas and iPhone cases in the Metro station. Entrepreneurship everywhere.
-However I am dubious on an active church having a gift shop with fake gold Madonnas with MILANO stamped across the front.
-Had fast food Italian pizza which is just as good as our good pizza. and Yucky fried olives.
-Gelato in BRIOCHE bitches. Three flavors!!!
-Stumpy statue on the side of the Duomo. Happy that the cripples are represented. St. Crippulus de Milano: Patron saint of gelato. He always hopped to the gelato truck. What were you thinking he was the saint of ?Cripples? Insensitive ass.
-Saw Italian people ordering Coronas. Sigh. And them being served with lemon. Double sigh.
-I love that I can get cake and ale at the same place. Cake and Ale.
-I avoided smelling like Nicki Minaj. Score!
-Lost in Milano. I completely understand the ANTM girls.
-Dinner was at an apertivo place. Wine that was effervescent and this awesome buffet of salads and other noms. And these fried dough things from heaven.
-Dogs in Milan are ugly.
-Might need a loan for my pastry habit.