Vivi Tells You What to Listen To, Pt 55

Once upon a time a long ago in a place that is far from here and far from where you are, there was a girl named Vivi and she loved monsters.  The Girl Who Loved Monsters decided to gather them all together into one mini-monster convention to have a Kiki. Vivi liked Kikis because she loved anything that had “I”s in them since she was the center of her world. This Kiki was well attended from the 1o best monsters at the time. The monsters that attended  this glorious soiree far away from here and far away from where you are were:

1. Thao & The Get Down Stay Down- Holly Roller

Oh Holly Roller the furry friend that loves biting and bouncing.  His big blue blobby self would bite someone or anything really (he didn’t care) and then jump up into the air. He was sometimes known as the furry trampoline but he hated that name since his mother, Momlly Roller, was killed in a freak trampoline accident too gruesome to talk about here.
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2. Jonny McGovern- Dickmatized

He really was a huge dick, literally. He was super nice not a dick dick. Just a huge penis with a happy face that made you all woozy with his charms. Then he would offer to whip cream your face. Just say no to that.  But invite him to your parties if you want a good time and before you ask, he doesn’t do bachelorette parties. He finds them too penis oriented.

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3. Rob Zombie- Sick Bubblegum

It really is unfortunate or fortunate, I don’t know, that a lot of these monsters are so literal in their names. Sick Bubblegum was no exception. She was a huge stick of Juicy Fruit that always had a cold. Sneezing fruit smell everywhere. She wasn’t contagious and she smelt good so you brought her along to cover the horrible smell that other monsters had.  She would just sit in the corner and try not to cough bananas on everyone.
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4. The Front Bottoms- Funny You Should Ask

This is a cute little pink thing that taps you on your shoulder or back and starts off with “Funny You Should Ask”. Then she will proceed to tell you a story about some crazy adventure in her life. Unprompted and unexpected but always charming. Plus her cute little voice makes it all worth it.
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5.  The Seatbelts – Tank

He does look like a Tank. Or close enough too one but his gun thing doesn’t shoot bullets. It shoots skittles. Usually it is for good but sometimes he does get angsty and shouts “taste the rainbow bitch.” Luckily no one has been killed in a Skittles Skirmish.
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6.  Spiderbait – Black Betty

The most gentile southern black widow you have ever met. If you ask her have you ever poisoned anyone she would say “Have I ever? No Cherie, I wouldn’t harm a badger on a sweet potato.”  She knows all the gossip and brings the best praline cotton candy.
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7. Trampled By Turtles – Wait So Long

He is a turtle that likes the banjo and ninja turtles so he puts on a pink headband to be the new turtle, Mumford.  He his talented but the gimmick of a banjo being fast is lost on Wait So Long.
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8. MIKA (ft. Ariana Grande) – Popular Song

A cute little bunny that everyone loves and she tries to make everyone equally popular. She is a pure love bunny and you can’t help but like her. If you don’t then you also hate sunshine, rainbows and ice cream. SO you know evil.
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9. Taylor Swift- Sweeter than Fiction

An orange rhombus that hands you pages of a book that is made of candy. Tastier than Turkish Delight and less roofied, he shares his books with everyone and everyone thing has the swingest dance party!
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