Tings Tings and more tings. Here is an intro that describes what I am doing now and what I will be doing by the time you get to number 1 on this list. It will be full of so many wonderful thoughts, clever ideas, humorous quips. This is the part where I make a self-deprecating joke. This is the part where I say fuck it, I do what I want. And now this is the part when you all smile and pat me on the head. Now that our roles are established lets commence the list.
Technically 1&2 but more like I want you to know these exist:
Karen O, Spike Jonze, and KK Barrett – The Moon Song
Beautiful song and great rendition of it.
Bombay Bicycle Club- F for You
The BBC Live Lounge is the source for all good cover songs as of late. This is perfect cover of a great Disclosure song. I think this is one of those sacred indie bands like Bon Iver and The XX.
1. The Haden Triplets- Single Girl
Not to be confused with Single Ladies. We have whittled it down to this one girl who still hasn’t had a ring put on her finger. Just go fucking rob a creepy deranged river hobbit like normal people. I appreciate any song that is cooter endorsed. Oops Ry Cooder. I didn’t make it better.
2. Bipolar Sunshine- Where Did the Love Go
You know who is asking where the love went? The Single Girl (CALLBACK BITCH)! Is there a landfill of love somewhere. I am writing that song. “I traveled to the landfill of love to find my lost part. I sewed my heart with the spark plug of love. Oooh oooh ooh. We formed a bond in the piles of forgotten tossed away love. We bathed in the trash of others failed relationships.” Okay it needs work but the idea is there. If anyone wants to collab (Pharrell? I like big hats too! I cannot lie) let me know.
3. Kelis – Jerk Ribs
All my love went to ribs. Mmmm ribs. Yummy food. This is off an album called food so I am not assuming anything. She brought her milkshake to the yard, it is only fair to bring the ribs too. Milkshakes and ribs is my new restaurant venture. If anyone wants to collab let me know.
4. Iggy Azalea ft Charli XCX- Fancy
Only Frank Underwood can make ribs fancy. I have no clue. I am clueless. If you are watching the video then you know what I did there. You are now praising me. PRAISE Zuul? I need another thing. Hmmm. Hastur. The known but forgotten Ancient One. I hope he does some creepy ass shit like make you bleed out your ears. Waking up sticky (new hit single).
5. Atmosphere- Bitter
Do you think Hastur is bitter because Cthulhu gets all the love and attention. And seriously Cthulhu is fucking scary and fear inducing and the reason why I can’t play that game Amnesia. So why do we make him all cute? Because we decided he looked more like a cute little Octopus instead of a fucking fear demon? Back to bitter Hastur. “Cthulhu gets all the attention, I get nothing.” Do hipsters love Hastur? Cthulhu is so mainstream and sold out, Hastur is real and underground (this works better if he is an underground fear demon). I really should do some research.
6. Lykki Li- Love Me Like I’m Not Made Of Stone
Or trash. This is no landfill love situation. You can take your Hastur and shove it up your bum. Can Hastur be shoved? I figure that most of these Ancient One Gods are all big and fierce but I really want one to be super tiny. And worm its way into you to cause fear that sinks like a stone(!!!) in your stomach.
You can love me like I am made of marshmallows. Soft, sweet, and way sticker than I need to be.
7. Townes Van Zandt- Lungs
Could I still breathe if my lungs were marshmallows? If you seriously thought about that for a moment just step away and pick up an encyclopedia and read something. The Microsoft Encyclopedia Encarta had this awesome game where you had to answer questions to advance to different rooms. That was fun. Like breathing. Breathing is fun. Creepy deranged river hobbits breathe weird. Maybe their lungs are made of marshmallows. Again if you considered it, step away. Find a book. Read.
8. MNDR- Feed Me Diamonds
They would puncture my marshmallow lungs (shh baby shh). Something actually relevant to the song, this video is mesmerizing. Diamonds in my mouth. Ouch. I am not smuggling them hoping to poop them out later. Lets just take those diamonds and make a pretty little ring for mamma.
9. Princess Superstar- The New Evolution
Kind of Bitter (CALL BACK BITCH) about her ripping off my name. Fine I will be Goddess Superstar Extraordinaire. I win!! Darwin is so 18blahblah. We are all about this new evolution that is all rainbows and sunshine. No more will frogs have 3 legs, now they will have four and be all rainbowfied. Everything is rainbows now.
10. Portugal. The Man- Heavy Games
Is the ultimate game, hunting man? What if I just want to hunt bears? The Furry game!! Furry games for everyone. I love furries. They are so soft. Just don’t touch the dry matted areas. Ewwww. Everyone thinks of furries as this weird sad creatures but I hope they are all happy and do group dances to Pharrell’s (call me!) Happy.