It is World Cup time and I am going to tell you what to listen to via a loose tie-in with the festivities. This is the game where at the end the guys take of their shirts and hug. Let me say that again: the guys take off their shirts and hug!!
If you need any reason why you should watch this sport look at these two articles (where Buzzfeed got it right):
My Brightest Diamond- Be Brave
Wee little footballer, be brave. You have lost this match but you probably get to play at least once more before you have to pack up and go home. So be brave and try to not think of when you fell. And that other time you fell. And that third time you fell and tried to blame it on the other guy. Think of almost making ballsies into the net. How next time with your braveocity you will make it a bit more into the net. You can do it!!
Dubious Brothers- Yes Man
Coach says bend over, you say yes. Teammate says hug me shirtless, you say yes. You are the “yes man” on the team and we all love you. I love you for hugging that player shirtless. Your sweaty bodies entwined in a congratulatory or consoling embrace. Either way I say YES, MAN!
LP- One Last Mistake
Remember when you got a goal for the other team? That is your last mistake. Seriously. Those people will kill you if you do it again. What people? Those people. Seriously. How much more clear do I need to be. THOSE PEOPLE BE CRAY. Croissant quality in Brazil is lacking. Sure you may get murdered if you just walk out into a street but that isn’t as offensive as these crappy croissants.
Buzzcocks- The Way
The way you win is to score more goals than the other team. You can score the same amount and while that works-ish, it really isn’t THE WAY. It is a lame way. And you don’t want to be lame. Quick trip that dude, the Ref isn’t looking. Trip trip to falltown. BOOM! Now score!!! You win because you know the WAY to success based the knees of others.
Gorilla Zoe- No Drake
Even the World Cup don’t want his weepy ass at these games. They want fun. They want Ole Ole Pitbull (his name for the duration of the games). OOP is everywhere. He is smiling everywhere. Where Drake is still lint rolling his pants. Things the World Cup doesn’t want: NO Murder, NO Fatties, NO Drake.
Spoon- The Rent I Pay
The rent I pay will keep this stadium up for at least a month. Then things are dicey. It might collapse, it might not. Eh? We will see. Just win your games now so you can get moved to one of the good stadiums that will definitely stand for 3 months.
Bob Mould- I Don’t Know You Anymore
You grew a beard, you got good– I don’t know you anymore. You were my Futbol! friend and now you are just fancy pants goal scorer. Remember when we fell and then we embraced (shirtless)? Yeah I don’t remember either. I will just go then. I know when I am not wanted (seriously they didn’t make a jersey for me. They must have forgot)
Rin Toshite Shigure- Illusion is Mine
I wish we knew how it is to actually win a game but we have those holograms where we did. They are so pretty. My knees are so bruised. From the game you sick-fuck. So lets listen to this good song to remember when we were good.
Three Dog Night- Never Been to Spain
Baby we have never been to Spain. Strange I know since we are from Portugal but it is so faaaaaaaaaaaaaar. No idea why I am talking to you in English. Oh! It is our secret language. This has nothing to do with Football just talking about random things. Like bananas in pajamas. Why do they need pajamas. They already are wearing clothes? The world is so confusing, boo. Hug me.
All in a neat little playlist