Don’t Check It- no no no

OH all of this post is very inappropros and talks about a graphic erotica story. I won’t have NSFW pictures but if reading about sex at work or in life is a no no, then don’t proceed. I understand.

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You may have heard of this story from an episode of @Midnight or other places and since you are all better than I you would chuckle and move on.  Not read the fucking dinosaur erotica story.    I get that some people might  want to see a dinosaur fuck but why can’t it be just dinosaur on dinosaur action? Why do we need to “interspecies erotica fucko” this situation?

nooooooooooooooooooo

noooooooooooo

nooooooooooo

As you see from the picture I read:  In the Velociraptor’s Nest by Christie Sims and Alara Branwen. I want you to realize that the novelty just isn’t worth it. There is no reason why you should read this. Even if you always have a dream of being pegged by a Stegosaurus you don’t want to read this.

NOOOOOOOOOO:

1st—  As expected it is written horribly

2nd—  no

3rd-100000nd—  no no no no no

I think right now you are thinking “it can’t be that bad”  but I will  relay some points of the story to you since you OBVIOUSLY don’t listen to me.

Gems like:

  • The premise of the story is that she is a cave-woman trying to hunt for food.  She is the only woman in her tribe because she is constantly raped by the cavemen (or the only attractive woman. Am I right fellas?).  Let me point out  that this is treated like another random fact and  the reason why she really needs a good dickin. Because rape dick isn’t good dick. This seems to be the only downside to rape according to the lady.
  • “She looked down, admiring its soft, smooth cock, glistening in the weak light that filter in through the cave entrance at the raptor’s back” — Here the girl is realizing that this raptor, who somehow has a giant cock,  is appealing. I guess???
  • “Either way, what choice did she have but to try to fuck the beast senseless so that, afterward, it could only lie there, limp and spent, while she made a hasty getaway?” — This is her strategy. Fuck it to sleep and then sneak out.
  • Finally she starts to suck off this animal’s cock.  This cock is “nine whole inches” which according to her, is more massive than the caveman cock she normally gets.
  • The raptors “pre-cum” tastes like the pond where she earlier took a bath. This means that all ponds and lakes are filled with dinosaur cum. Keep that in mind for your summer adventures.
  • “She was fucking a raptor, and loving every minute of it!” — I don’t think any explanation is necessary here.
  • “Too late, Azog realized what the beast really wanted when it thrust itself, all nine inches of slick, ripe, quivering, shiny raptor cock, into the tight, puckered bud of her anus.” — 1st- the raptor decided that cave-woman pussy wasn’t enough and he needed some ass. GOY raptor?
    2nd- No lube. Nine inches and no fucking lube.  WTF? Respect ,raptor, respect.
    3rd- For those of you who have had sex with cocks, has any of them EVER EVER quivered? If your cock is quivering shouldn’t you go to the doctor?
  • The raptor pulled out his cock and just spurted steaming “spunk” all over her. I think she should go to Dr. Cave Medicine Man after this to get treated for burns.
  • “Instead, it nudged her, sniffing an snorting at her until the beast slid to the ground, surrounding her in its leathery warmth as it curled behind her” — Who doesn’t love a cuddlesaur?   I know you and your lover joked about him being a cuddlesaur but really what you had was a pale imitation. Does your cuddlesaur hold you after he has covered you in jizz that is probably peeling off layers of your skin? I really doubt it. And if so both of you should really go to the doctor.
  • Finally after she sneaks out she realizes that the wife of the raptor she fucked, was killed by her tribe. Her raptor suitor is distraught and she leads him back to the cave so they can feed the babies of the couple and have some more sex.
    —Oh yes the entire sexcapades wasn’t only “cheating” but in front of three baby raptors.  Its just like my dreams!!
    love-quotes-032

 

I realized that this story was written primarily for women. Us ladies do have some freaky deaky desires and interests but I think raptor fucking (unless it is a member of that sportsting team; they still exist right?)  is .00000000001% of interest.  Also I think the author is trying to convey an unsatisfactory lover situation that is fulfilled  by a giant beast who will ravage her but isn’t beyond being gentle. Which is a nice metaphor. But I could use a bit less rape.

And me being me, I am always amazed at the fucking lack of pussy eating in these stories.  Especially when it is for women. Do women really not like having  foreplay done to them? I am so fucking confused on this always.

Final point: I looked up velociraptors on Wikipedia  and they are fucking tiny dinosaurs comparatively. They are only 1.6 feet high. Sure they are up to 7 feet long but that seems to be mostly tail and they probably weigh about 33 pounds.  So according to this story, the raptor had a cock that was almost half of its height. So that bitch best be feeling lucky that she got the freakshow of velociraptors.
She also made something that is the size of a toddler be the big spoon. Rude bitch.

So in the end, don’t read this story.

Yay you made it to the end!!!  As a reward, I will share this amazing song that also talks about a One Night Stand.

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